I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
