She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
