I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
