Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
