but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
