I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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