I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
