Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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