so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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