Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
