A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
