Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
There's even glitter on my cock...
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