Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
