If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize