Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We talked him into tasing himself.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
