Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
