I wanna passion pit in your ass
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
