So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
