Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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