omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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