best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
