What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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