I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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