Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She announced her abortion via fbk
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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