I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I have fence marks all over my body
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
