Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
