I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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