I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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