We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
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Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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