I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
