Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?

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(804): View more from Virginia

Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great

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(507): View more from Minnesota

How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation

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(859): View more from Kentucky

how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?

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(904): View more from Florida

I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.

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(406): View more from Montana

I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina

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(614): View more from Ohio

And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"

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(585): View more from New York

I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part

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