I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
