the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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