i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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