New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize