I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
