the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
