all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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