Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
