Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
