My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
