How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
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Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
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Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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