I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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