i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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