worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
