another moral hangover. fuck.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
