found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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