im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
