Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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