Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
