I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize