Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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