I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
