ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
