I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
