She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
