I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i think im in europe. pls send help
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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