I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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