i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
