come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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