my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
