everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
