watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
