The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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